THE ADVERTISERER
Some highlights from the satirical “news” series I post on Likedin.
TRUTH IN ADVERTISING
Lackluster pun nets creative agency multi-million dollar business.
The kismet of “ham” rhyming with “wham” and “bam” was just enough to get the client to put pen to paper…
High-ranking employee praised for being blackout drunk.
The senior staff member voted “best on ground” at a recent office event also spent a considerable portion of the night there…
Venomous snake dies from client bite.
Shocked onlookers could only watch on in horror as the great serpent was felled by a single gnash…
Creative working on betting client deftly sidesteps homeless man he helped create.
“What rhymes with punt?” he mused, his next script already taking shape…
No correlation found between amount of books on creativity and capacity to be creative.
It’s been noted that the young creative with an encyclopedic knowledge of past ideas has yet to come up with one of their own…
Fifty-word blog enough to justify $10,000 Cannes junket.
The experienced creative was seen hastily typing “Au revoir for now,” into his phone before accepting a ninth mimosa…
Snapped elevator cable cuts weak lift banter mercifully short.
The school holiday play-by-play had the socially awkward creative warmly embracing the Reaper’s embrace...
Finance department offers to cut back embezzling in these difficult times.
With client spend down and inflation up, even the smallest sacrifices are appreciated by the agency…
CEO’s declaration of “no pun intended” craftily covers up intentional pun.
Despite leaving an obvious laughter gap, the company head insisted the cloddish wordplay was purely incidental…
Creative pivots to eco sector, betrays all he learnt in advertising.
It’s been confirmed that the former corporate drone suddenly thinks he’s too good to push price gauged climate altering fossil fuels ravaged from our very Earth on to struggling families…
Really hyped pitch team left reeling after much-hyped hype reel fails to hype client.
“I’m not really hyped”…
“Just make it to end of year”, thinks busy creative, forgetting about remainder of life.
The overworked art director believes all their troubles end at Christmas break, failing to account for the January 3rd return or the thirty-five years left until retirement…
Radio talent proves to be anything but.
“Where’d you even find this guy?” asked the client who ignored all recommendations to hand pluck the dud from dozens of far superior options…
Busy agency pretends to be busy during client visit.
“Ok when they come through everyone look like you’re working hard…yeah exactly like that…ok stop practising they’re not here yet…hey save some of that hard work for the client guys…hello…everybody stop working!”...
“What do you think?”, lead client asks junior marketer whose opinion doesn’t matter.
His team’s valid queries and considered opinions served merely to build suspense for his already rendered verdict…
Six-second bumper the ideal opportunity to “tell our brand story”.
“Six is the new sixty,” the marketing lead claimed incorrectly, ahead of their centennial campaign launch…